She was brave, she was smart, she was strong, she was kind.

She lived in a beautiful world.

He came from a different world, a gloomy one.

They became friends.

She opened his eyes, she showed him that life can be interesting.

She believed in him when he didn’t believe in himself.

He loved her.

But he was too afraid.

He was not ready to grow.

He hurt her to hide his feeling.

So she left.

She withdrew herself from him.

They stopped talking to each other.

“To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.”

*iseng2an malam minggu
*inspired by: This Is How It Feels — d4vd ft. Laufey

Why Germany? Why Europe?

I just got back from Germany.. when I was there, some people asked me “why Germany? why not America? or the the UK? or other countries you’ve never been to?”, “why winter? why don’t you wait for spring or summer?”

So here’s the story…

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Fun fact (that’s not not so fun):

When people enter the “adult life”, some people get obsessed with money and position, they’re being extremely competitive. Even when you hangout with them, all they talk about is their achievement (everybody is just so proud of themselves, everybody is so full of themselves).

Some people around me are so fake, they’re just a bunch of fake nice people, smile a lot, their words are so fluffy and sweet (as honey), they tell you that their life is all sunshine and rainbow, they pretend to be nice, everything is so staged, but at some point, they’re so mean.. sometimes they say harsh things about other people — yet, they can smile and be nice to them. and still they think they’re the best people.

Last but not least… social media is full of people who try to prove themselves, they show you they have the best life, the best friends, the best partner, the best job, they assume their opinion is the most important thing in the world, they’re too loud.

Those people creep me out. 

________________

I was so tired of people. I felt so distant, and it wasn’t a nice feeling... 

So, as soon as Germany opened the border, I immediately made a plan to travel to Germany for 3 months, (my job is quite flexible and my bosses are amazing — they knew much I needed this break). It was never about exploring Europe, I didn’t even wait for spring/summer, it was more like I needed to hangout with my kind of people, I missed something familiar, I missed kindness, I missed something pure, I missed being with people without talking about anything related to money and achievement. I just wanted to shut out the world for it’s too loud, too noisy, too busy, too competitive, too unhealthy for my mind and soul.

And it was the right decision!

Writing

Hi all,

(This is just me pretending people read my blog) ✌🏼

I used to write my opinion and some (not so good) short stories on my blog, but then I stopped. I'm not sure why I stopped, probably because I was busy with my study. I still write my view about something though, but just in Notes on my phone.

I just realized I miss this blog!

Usually I write when I'm alone, when I can be 100% with myself, listen to my favorite music, get lost in my own thoughts. I barely have this privilege now. For me, writing is important (even though I'm not good at it), it helps me feel connected with myself, it helps me hear myself think in this noisy world, it’s like being in my own wonderland, it's good for my soul.

We listen to other people's opinion everyday, do we even have time to listen to ourselves? do we have time to sit still and actually think how we view or feel about something? Do we have time to reflect? If we never listen to ourselves, we will be overly influenced by others' opinions, and at some point in our life, we will be overwhelmed and confused.

I’d like to write again (I don’t mean high quality writing — just a simple one, so please don’t expect much) on this blog ☺